| Jun 20 |
What We Learned From Paraguay vs Slovakia (2-0)It’s A Game Of Make Believe I’m playing a little game here while I watch this match, not because it is somehow more excruciatingly dull than any others – on the contrary it’s a pretty gripping encounter – but because I had a bit of an epiphany. This thought transformed the game for me and made it utterly compelling. I suddenly thought, Are Slovakia better than Engerland (or more realistically, Are Engerland any better than Slovakia)? And I started comparing the teams in an almost man-to-man way. Is Slovakia’s defending conspicuously worse than Engerland’s? Is Robert Vittek the Slovakian Emile Heskey? Is Marek Hamsik their Wayne Rooney? Is Vladimir Weiss their Aaron Lennon? Ultimately, are Slovakia as disappointingly shit as Engerland? It totally changed my view of the game as I substituted Engerland related commentary on top of the match commentary, and the game itself changed. I was thinking what are Slovakia doing the change the game, to mix things up, to get the ball back when they lose it (as they regularly do). I was thinking, what would Rhino do, why can’t the midfield actually pass it about, and most importantly, why are they always hoofing it to Heskey (sorry Vittek). Because Slovakia’s problems are identical to Engerland’s. They don’t seem to have any clear gameplan other than defend in a sub-Mourinho way and desperately hope to catch the opposition on the break. They have players who can, apparently pass to one another and control the ball, but seem unable to demonstrate this on any consistent basis, they don’t seem to have the patience (or skill? or belief?) to develop moves through the middle and rely on a hoof and hope tactic that really isn’t working for anyone at this tournament, in contrast to the Paraguayayayans who develop their moves through neat passing and use the full width of the pitch. So far the jury’s out, but Slovakia are running Engerland a close second in the race to be most rubbish. A Different System From The Paraguayayayans Like Chile, Paraguay have eschewed the Mourinho Discipline, instead going for a 4 – 3 – 3 formation, which they use in an attacking positive way. They also press very well and drop into a 4 – 1 – 3 – 2 defensive formation when they are being pressed by the opposing team. Their defenders even apologise to one another when they lose composure and simply hack the ball away, which is a very un-European thing to do. Certainly there was no sign of their previous hack and tackle philosophy which they used to not very much effect when playing Italy – another indication of how much teams have had to adapt their games as the tournament goes on. Stupidly Interesting Slovakia share the same kit design as Denmark, only theirs is blue where the Danes’ is red. If I was either country I’d feel really, really cheated. 27 Down 37 To Go 31 Teams Remaining |
| Jun 15 |
What We Learned From Italy vs Paraguay (1-1)Dirty, Dirty, Dirty And We’re Not Talking About The Italians At last! We have found the heirs to the spiritual vacuum that was the Old Skool Argentinian teams, whose kick and trip footballing philosophy bears more resemblance to World Wildlife Wrestling than it does to the beautiful game. You know you’re in the presence of bruisers when the first tackle is a super-friendly shin-splitter on the opponent’s mdifield dynamo. Kerpow! Take that vaguely talented Italian midfielder, that’s your introduction to the World Cup, let’s hope a good old-fashioned six-stud football tattoo will stop you ‘expressing yourself’ (in any way other than crying like a baby obviously). And it didn’t stop there. We all thought that it would be the Greeks who ‘brought the pain’ to the World Cup, but frankly the Paraguayayayayans have them beaten hands down. Every single tackle came with an optional extra of a stud-rake down the back of the leg, an elbow in the face and some kind of shirt holding. Quite impressively the ref failed to see any of it. Lippi Proved His Managerial Mettle If goals change games, then the only thing a manager can do once their team is one down is amend the side via substitutions and tactical changes. Lippi showed that he was capable of doing both by adding old Juve scrote Calamarioneisi. Now I haven’t laughed so much in a football match since Calamarioneisi came over to play Arsenal in the Champions League along with Juventus and Patrick Viera and was roundly taught a lesson by a very young Cesc Fabregas that culminated in his being utterly humiliated, then sent off. Here, years later, he was a real game-changer, putting together Italy’s most threatening attack within seconds of getting into the match . His presence opened up the width of the pitch and seemed to galvanise the Italians. One imagines he will be starting the next game. Engerland Not The Only Team Carrying Damaged Baggage Although if you were given the choice between taking a half-fit Buffon (still one of the best goalkeepers in the world) and a half-fit Ledley Kneeknack (still one of the best Enlglish central defenders at Tottingham), I know which one I’d take a risk on and which one was an invitation to utter ridicule. Still, if we really stretch the envelope we can see that Engerland aren’t the only team with problems. 11 Down 53 To Go |
Stumble it!